StarSongs

So, if a life's experience is continually speaking thru the behaviors, speech and mannerisms of the owner, we are being....Being. Verb.
We try to teach our children even things that we fail at, keep trying, discoursing about and one day they grow up and look at us and realize the truth. We aren't perfect. For a time, everyone is almost relieved. The children because now they can stop with the Approval-thing. The 'rents because, well, the cat is out of the bag. So to speak.          
But His truth unerringly continues to nail me to the wall with it's directness and eloquence. It won't leave me alone and tho I don't want it to--a little taste goes a long ways and then too, nothing else ever satisfies....
But we know in our heart of hearts that they carry memories of us not as we would have them remember us. We would have all beauty and light...
But we say (if we are honest), with David in Psalms 73:22, "I was so foolish and ignorant--I must have seemed like a senseless animal to you."
Does His light ever shine past us into their lives...past who we were in tired, unyielded moments of brokenness? Will they see Him any clearer because we belong(ed) to Him? Will they remember us Choosing to be grateful and then our finding tiny places of joy that changed us on the inside? Will the tiny victories or small revelations be a part of the chink in the armor that breaks the whole thing wide open for them dazzling them with His Light?
Because that's what it's all about. 
If we live to have the space (again or maybe for the first time)to speak into 
their lives, will the light be able to peek out? Can they see it or feel it without forgiving us? Can we find a place to "be" and speak to each other? 
It seems like there is so much more going on here than meets the eye. It cannot all be for naught...If we are trusting that the Word does not return void from wherever it was sent, then there have to be workings of more depth going on than is humanly possible to see. Time is the 'dough rising' and cannot be rushed. The yeast is necessary; as is temperature and kneading. How can we know just what is needed and when....
I think parents grow up when they reach that point where they know or realize that having done our best, we are a guidepost that He is using. They are His workmanship. Not ours. 
I prayed for the strength (etc., etc.) to raise up the arrows in said quiver. (Oh yezohyezdidiever) Now for the grace to let the arrow fly gracefully with power out into the world where He will not let go of them...The grace to Let go and Let God...